This past week has been a complete hectic and stressful blur. As you know Smash is lame. I noticed she was ouchy on Monday but things got SO crazy last week that I'm going to have to share.
I know as horse owners we all get very worried when our horses are hurt or sick. I think that goes for any pet, but it's especially hard with horses because you have to leave them in the trusting hand of your barn manager and pray your horse doesn't decide to impale themselves while you are gone or they are turned out. I know 100% I worry nonstop about Smash when she is stressed, hurt, or sick and then I become a hot mess. I try to keep it under control and not let too many people see the craziness I'm going through and usually everything works itself out but I just hate feeling so helpless not always knowing what's wrong or what's best. Not to mention watching a horse gimp around on essentially 3 legs is very hard to watch! At least with my dogs I can pick them up if I have to!
Back to the timeline of events!
Monday - Smash was sore and lame but didn't see anything to be concerned about. Thought maybe it was a hoof bruise or something. Gave her some bute and turned her back out.
Tuesday - I went out to deliver her some bute and she was worse. Like not wanting to stand on her left hoof worse. I gave her bute and called the office to let them know. I also saw some swelling in her fetlock.
Ensue panic. I was told to leave a message for the barn manager to come out and look at Smash in the morning for a second opinion. I went home and immediately started Googling what could be wrong. Google and the internet can be very helpful or very evil. When it comes to diagnosing myself, it's usually fairly helpful since I know exactly what kind of symptoms/pain I'm experiencing. But for dogs and horses it's evil. It could be any number of deadly illnesses/injuries that require euthanasia or it could be something completely benign that will heal in a few days. Nothing makes you crazier than thinking your horse has somehow suddenly contracted Laminitis and will need to be put down right before bed time.
Wednesday - Got a call from the barn describing now more swelling in other legs and definite lameness like I saw on Tuesday. They reassured me they'd give her Banamine (extra strength tylenol for horses) and put her on the vet list for Thursday. I figured at that point I wouldn't need to go out and see her. I was still slightly panicky but decided once the vet came out maybe I'd have a better idea of what was going on...until opinions got to me. Not my opinion, but opinions of others. Doubt might be the right word. Doubt about the expertise and knowledge of the staff and vet. So I'm already in this panicky fragile mental state thinking 'ok the vet will help me' and then I'm sent into a whole new whirlwind of stress when my trust in the vet is questioned by another person who had a bad experience with him. That was not what I needed. Here I am feeling helpless and not really having a vet of my own I trust and know since Smash thankfully has been mostly injury free since I've owned her when I hear he has misdiagnosed horses and doesn't know what he's doing. Can we say flip out mode? I had decided not to go out and see Smash that evening since someone already made sure she was alive and so I was in the parking lot of Giant when I'm being told the vet doesn't know anything. It took all I had not to burst into tears in my car right then and there thinking Smash was going to need to be put down after being misdiagnosed or I'd be bankrupt after needing to be seen by a million vets - none who knew what they were doing. I spent at least 5 minutes in the cereal aisle staring at the same boxes of cereal unable to make a decision because I was so overwhelmed. Don't get me wrong, I totally appreciate knowing there is some skepticism with the 'house' vet, but it's SO not what I needed right then. I tried to put it all aside and get through the rest of the evening.
Thursday - Thankfully I was given a call from the vet of when he was on his way. I rushed out to the barn and felt like I was seen very quickly. Thankfully the farrier is also at the barn on Thursday so he did a hoof tester (something I now know more about and how to sort of use) to find she had soreness all in her left hoof on one side. He pulled the shoe for me and the vet said it was a bruise right now (would probably turn into an abscess) and he would give her 2 shots (one for inflammation and one antibiotic) and give us a tube of Banamine to administer the next day. I was instructed to wrap her hoof everyday with a piece of gauze folded in half and placed on the sore side as support for the hoof wall. I was feeling slightly better about things but still worried since Smash was practically 3-legged and hardly putting any weight on her left leg. She was literally walking on her toe. I could tell, though, taking the shoe off did relive some of the discomfort so I felt slightly better.
Friday - Came out and Smash was actually putting more weight on her hoof! I felt elated! PROGRESS! Any improvement is great news! So I unwrapped and re-wrapped her hoof and went home feeling like I had done the right thing! Smash would live! She'd get to keep her hoof! I wouldn't have to drive to VA for the horse hospital. Until 9pm hit. Daisy - my dog - came inside very proud of herself with a swollen lip. And it was swelling more as the seconds ticked by. I'm pretty sure she got bit by a bug that didn't agree with her so I ran around panicking on what to do. Thankfully for the internet it told me I could give her Claritin so I did. The swelling stopped and sort of subsided by 11pm so I felt it was safe to sleep. Thankfully aside from the swelling Daisy didn't seem to notice or care she had a fat lip. So much for relaxing...
Saturday aka Day from Hell - I woke up to Daisy still having some swelling in her face. Normally I would wait at least 24 hours before going to the vet but I was worried if anything happened I'd have to wait until Tuesday (Monday was a holiday) to get her in to see the vet and I didn't feel like going to the emergency vet if I didn't have to. So I made an appointment. No joke, by the time we were seen by the vet her swelling was practically gone. *sigh* I guess better safe than sorry?? We headed home and I was then off to see Smash. I got there and found out her foot wrap came off. Not good. She was back to being very sore. :( I was not thrilled to see her digress back so quickly to toe walking and was feeling stressed out. I got a reassuring talk from one of the barn managers that I was doing the right thing and just to hang in there. I wrapped her back up and headed home feeling more than exhausted. I took a nap, was starting to actually feel bored, when it happened.
I got a text from a field-mate saying Smash looked terrible and should be in a stall and I needed to come out. At first I tried to reassure her that she was fine and I'd already been out when doubt and panic crept in. I freaked out thinking in the 4 hours since I'd been out something had happened to her. Maybe she tried to run, maybe the wrap came off again, maybe she tripped and fell, or maybe a horse gremlin came out and attacked her - who knows! So I jumped off the couch and fled to the barn. I cried hysterically the whole way. And not like in that pretty actress cry way, but in the dirty, don't care who sees me, snot all over the place way. I figured if I got it all out now I could hold myself together better when assessing the damage. I parked, got out of the car, and marched my way immediately into the field.
She was just how I'd left her that morning.
I kid you not.
Immediately I felt better but was still on edge. I found my friend and explained she was ok. But then I got kind of grilled about why I was doing what I was doing I was started to feel less confident about all of my choices. Lucky for me it was time to give Smash her Banamine dose for the day and I went to help administer it. I was reassured by the person helping that the barn staff was making sure to assess Smash every day and if there was an issue or concern, they'd first handle it and then call me. You have no idea how much better I felt! That I wasn't alone and Smash wasn't thrown out in the field without a care. That many people were concerned for her health and were there to help me. I went home that evening completely drained. I tried to cook one of my favorite recipes when the brand new box of noodles I had were infested with flour bugs. It was 8pm. I was in no mood. I boiled it anyway and made an effort to drain off any bugs. Extra protein?? Saturday Sucked!
Sunday - Back to the barn for Smash's check up. She was walking better like she had on Friday! I was very pleased!
Monday - She was even better! I'm wondering if the abscess popped. I'm not good at looking for holes or knowing what it'd even look like. The vet was out, too, and while he didn't see her he decided if she is not better by Thursday (his second visiting day) he and the farrier would work together to help Smash get rid of the abscess. I'm hoping after seeing such improvement that this won't be necessary. But judging how things have been going, I don't want to speculate r get my hopes up too high yet.
All in all things really have not been that bad for Smash. But mentally it's been hard for me. I have learned
A LOT not only about horse care but how to handle myself and to be more confident in the decisions I make. The moment I stopped second guessing myself and the moment I started to just trust the people who were there to help me I relaxed a little. Seeing Smash hurt still makes me worry and stress out but if this ever happens again at least I know I'll feel more confident with some of the treatment I can provide, myself, and have faith in the staff at the barn to help me, too. That's been my week in a nutshell. Anyone wanna go get a drink to help me cope from it all??
